Curing Puberty (Works for boys, don't know about girls),
that age-old bain of teenagers everywhere. To cure puberty
you need several rolls of duct tape, some rope, and a handy 
closet.
Step one- subdue the teenager. This may require help from 
some strong husky biker types or your friendly neighborhood 
bouncer or roller derby star.
Step two- completely cocoon said teenager in duct tape. 
Pay particular attention to the jelly hole portion of the face 
known by the medical folks as the mouth. This is vital, as 
failure here will ruin the entire 'fix.'
Step two- using the rope, suspend the teenager from a sturdy 
pole in the closet.
Step three- check on teenager (daily is good, any more often 
and they just make your life miserable).
Step four- after two or three years, remove teenager from 
closet, remove tape, and viola!... no more puberty!