How to Fix Things When They Are Broken
By Bimjo

[DISCLAIMER: If you're dippy enough to follow any of these
instructions, do NOT contact me when whatever you're
trying to fix no longer works. I can't help you, you need
professional help. And not necessarily mechanical!]

Many things in our lives become broken, malfunction, quit, 
or just plain don't work anymore. By following these simple
steps, you will be able to fix almost anything that you have
around the house. My easy home remedies are based on the
premise that "if it already don't work,  you can't break it." 

Enjoy.

Electronic Appliances (Excluding Computers) 
Step one- determine if the thing works or not.
Step two- if it works, break it so you can 'fix' it.
Step three- hold the offending object approximately 36 inches 
above a hard, unyielding surface. Drop it. NOTE: Make sure 
there are no body parts between the object and the hard, 
unyielding surface before performing this step.
Step four- reapply Step one.
Step five- reapply Step two.
Step six- if the object is not 'fixed' it doesn't matter. The damn 
thing didn't work anyway! 
Step seven- Go but a new one.


Fixin' Computers
Computers are special electronic appliances so they get their
own remedy.
Step one- apply all steps listed under "Electronic Appliances" 
above.
Step two- place the computer in the driveway.
Step three- run over the computer with the car- several times.
Step four- get the garden hose out and give your computer a 
drink. Optional: save time and make this step one if you are in 
a hurry to 'fix' your computer. Ensure that the computer is 
plugged in first though. This is especially effective in removing 
those pesky dust bunnys that collect inside the computer case.

Mostly I've found that fixing almost anything can be accomplished 
by using one of the methods above. If you have a unique 
problem that needs fixin', just drop Bimjo a note at 
fixit@thedigitalpage.com and I'll get right on a solution to 
your fix-it problem.

Have a nice day, and good luck with your fix-it projects.